A top secret security clearance...

Mason said:
How do you know?
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This might be a clue...

171-0401092030-animal-house-eat-me-float-carnage.jpg
 
paflyer said:
Yeah, like I'd ever want a job so badly that I'd put up with that level of intrusion.
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On the other side...
A relative was commuting across the border every day and applied for a customs pass...

Trash day. His wife is at home with the three boys (all in diapers). The trash truck picks up the neighbors trash, skips their house, then gets the house after...

A little while later, some guy in a suit and tie pulls up in a sedan, opens the trunk, and starts loading the contents of the trash cans into the car.

Did I mention that they had three kids in diapers?
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
On the other side...
A relative was commuting across the border every day and applied for a customs pass...

Trash day. His wife is at home with the three boys (all in diapers). The trash truck picks up the neighbors trash, skips their house, then gets the house after...

A little while later, some guy in a suit and tie pulls up in a sedan, opens the trunk, and starts loading the contents of the trash cans into the car.

Did I mention that they had three kids in diapers?
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i hope they got what they were looking for.
 
Sac Arrow said:
TS clearances these days are a joke. Everyone and anyone can get one. The caveat we were told was that to access classified information was you needed both, the required clearance, and a need to know. Theoretically that would keep the janitor in the Pentagon from leaking nuclear secrets.
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Need to know. Ha! Somewhere I was working we came up with another. It was called "Care to Know" and NOBODY qualified.

cgrab said:
The guys I run with have a standing joke when the investigator renews our clearances. The investigator asks if one of us ever saw the other drunk and the answer always is "Not that I remember."
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We were incorrigible with NIS when I worked for the Navy in the late 1970s. A friend was called in while working in a different outfit and was being questioned about another person in the office who was going for a TS. The candidate was from Texas. The NIS investigator asked if this person was discrete. My friend replied, "You ever known a discrete Texan?" I understand the candidate got his clearance anyway.

I got called down to the lobby of the building I worked in when in aerospace to talk to a DIS agent. Seems a friend had been out one night at a local honkytonk and came out to find another vehicle blocking his way out. So he beat up the offending vehicle. They were investigating him to see if he was going to keep his TS. "We'd like to ask you some questions about his character." "He's a character!" "We know that!" He kept the clearance.

wanttaja said:
Given the level of access he needs (TS and codewords), he's probably required to pass a polygraph test. We don't know the status of that; it's even possible he refused to take one.

Ron Wanttaja
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I had a TS/SI when I worked for the Navy and an EBI when working in aerospace. I never had to take a polygraph. Must be something new in the past 35 years.

wanttaja said:
More fun came later, when the investigation also looked into contacts with the news media. I have lots, of course, and receive royalties from McGraw-Hill, the publisher of Aviation Leak.....

Ron Wanttaja
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That magazine isn't popular with the people involved in security. I was at an industrial TEMPEST meeting at LLNL back around 1980. The NSA rep was complaining about the cost of distributing the Preferred Products List every quarter. An unclassified list. I suggested that they classify it Confidential and leak it to AL&ST (Aviation Leak and Spy Technology, as we called it) and that they would publish it free of charge. The NSA rep didn't think that was funny at all. No sense of humor.

I haven't worked in a job that required a clearance since 1983. Don't miss it at all.
 
Ghery said:
I got called down to the lobby of the building I worked in when in aerospace to talk to a DIS agent. Seems a friend had been out one night at a local honkytonk and came out to find another vehicle blocking his way out. So he beat up the offending vehicle. They were investigating him to see if he was going to keep his TS. "We'd like to ask you some questions about his character." "He's a character!" "We know that!" He kept the clearance.
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Years ago, I lived next to a "car guy". Tom was a mechanic at the local dealership, but fixed up a lot of cars at home.

One day, I was working in my own garage, when he came over with another man. "Hey, Ron, this guy locked his keys in his car. Can you make me a Slim Jim?" So I pulled out my scrap aluminum and aviation snips, and cut him a strip with a hook in it so he could open the man's car.

Tom came by about 15 minutes later. "Hey, that guy was doing an security investigation on you."

Just the time for me to demonstrate that I knew how to jimmy car doors.....

Ghery said:
I had a TS/SI when I worked for the Navy and an EBI when working in aerospace. I never had to take a polygraph. Must be something new in the past 35 years.
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Particular information requires the poly; it's not just driven by requiring a TS. Most of the TLAs have a level of access that requires one, and any service members working on that data will need one as well. For the longest time, the FBI was the lone holdout, claiming their agents would be insulted by having their integrity questioned. Then came the Hanssen case......

Favorite story, heard about thirty years ago. A man was filling out the application form for a security clearance, when he came across the question, "Have you or any member of your family ever tried to overthrow the government of the United States." He thought for a moment, and answered, "Yes."

No one looked at the answers to those questions. Finally, the last checker happened to look through the original application and found the "Yes" answer.

The applicant was soon sitting at a table with a lot of grim security investigators. "Why did you answer "Yes" to that question!!!!????"

He just looked at them and said, "My great-great-great Grandpappy fought for the Confederacy during the Civil War."

They subsequently changed the question to read, "IMMEDIATE family".....

Ron Wanttaja
 
wanttaja said:
Years ago, I lived next to a "car guy". Tom was a mechanic at the local dealership, but fixed up a lot of cars at home.

One day, I was working in my own garage, when he came over with another man. "Hey, Ron, this guy locked his keys in his car. Can you make me a Slim Jim?" So I pulled out my scrap aluminum and aviation snips, and cut him a strip with a hook in it so he could open the man's car.

Tom came by about 15 minutes later. "Hey, that guy was doing an security investigation on you."

Just the time for me to demonstrate that I knew how to jimmy car doors.....
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In certain TLAs with certain operations, that might just be important for the job. Nothing to worry about. ;)

Particular information requires the poly; it's not just driven by requiring a TS. Most of the TLAs have a level of access that requires one, and any service members working on that data will need one as well. For the longest time, the FBI was the lone holdout, claiming their agents would be insulted by having their integrity questioned. Then came the Hanssen case......
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Ah, yep. One can hold TS without poly and with just an SSBI, but some functions require additional background investigation beyond a basic TS (FS, Poly, lifestyle, etc).
 
wanttaja said:
Particular information requires the poly; it's not just driven by requiring a TS.
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Note, I had a TS/SI. Briefed into a number of programs "back in the day". Didn't need a polygraph for any of those. But, that was before those traitors were caught giving away stuff that they shouldn't have, too.
 
Candidly ... there were times the only reason I had a clearance was so that I could go to the bathroom by myself.
 
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