Pirep: McDonald's Filet o Fish Sandwich (or, salad, rather)

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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As a backdrop, there was a thread on the Purple Board on the items you should never order at McDonalds which included the fish sandwich. So, I decided to test the waters. Or rather, the low-carb version of the waters. Now you see, I'm sure others have reviewed the filet o fish - but, they don't get in to the essence of fish. They don't stare in to its eyes and ponder its existence prior to eating it. I would but the filet o fish has no eyes. It probably did at one point but that ship has sailed.

I did a little bit of research. Google said the fish portion was 167 grams (3 oz.) One was woefully insufficient. Four was a little too much. I compromised. Three. That would be nine ounces. Sounds about right for a light lunch. And, the price should be about three bucks a pop.

For starters, I knew something was wrong when the order girl tugged at her Hijab. 'I'd like three filet of fish sandwiches and a side salad.'
'You want... three?'
'Um, yeah.'
You order like in infidel. Just for that I'm not telling you were you screwed up. And I don't just mean showing up here in the first place. 'Okay."

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Infidel got schooled think he didn't. I guess I don't keep up with the times plus their shifting electronic order board is very uninformative on the pricing structure. Two of them were five dollars. The third was $4.59. For another thirty nine cents I could have gotten four. Or sucked it up and had two.

Since I had last eaten at McDonalds, they have instituted a numbered place holder. After a brief period of converting the frozen fish patties in to warm fodder for the buns, this arrived:

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Clearly, I have some work to do:

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Now the last time I had a filet o fish as a kid, I just remember them being bigger. But then again I was smaller. Now I'm bigger. And I actually think the filet o fish got smaller. Just like the Hawaiian-to-guitar ratio.

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I mean we're talking agonizingly small here. I do not believe these patties are three ounces. Two I might believe. I mean three of them fit on a salad, and that's one tiny azz salad.

I actually liked the filet o fish as a kid
. That's right. But they had more taste back then. The fish themselves probably didn't have more taste, but you didn't taste the fish. You tasted bun, tartar sauce and cheese. The fish itself didn't have much of a taste. Fast forward to now - most of the tartar sauce and cheese stayed on the bun. They could have done me a solid and put the cheese on the top then put the tartar sauce on, but noooooo, make it embedded in the bottom bun. The fish had no real flavor to speak of, save the hint of 'you should have just picked up a box of those frozen Gorton's fish filet patties' and they probably would have been better.

Here's the baseline for comparison:
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That is from the local fish and chips place. That is cole slaw in the back ground. That was roughly the same price, it was fresh cod fish (and I love cod fish), all the tartar sauce I want, and plus they have malt vinegar. And it is soooooo yummy. I should have just gone there.
 
I used to love and eat those damn things 20-25 years ago. Yeah you should have got two 2 fish sandwhich specials. Or gone to the local joint.

Damn Sac you put a lot into that post.
 
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I'm a glutton for punishment, but I enjoy the FoF's as a lent tradition/penance. That said, they are very hit and miss. Crispy was a health dose of sauce is solid, a little undercooked with too little sauce can lead to excessive time in the bathroom.
 
The first clue is the square. Have you ever seen a square fish?

As a kid I liked fish sticks. Not because they might have been related to fish but because they were fried and were excellent for catchup conveyance.
 
I'm just waiting for the truth about the McRib. Don't spoil it for me, Sac. I really like those.
 
I saw a documentary on the making of fish squares. It is all done on the fish factory ship from catching to cleaning to mushing to squirting into squares and freezing then packing in boxes and stored in the freezer. Fascinating.
 
Checkers/Rally's will sell you a fish sandwich for about $1.85 and they put lettuce on theirs.
 
I used to love those. Still do, if that’s all I have to choose from, but I haven’t eaten at a McDonald’s in years. It’s not just your imagination though, they have gotten smaller, about 3 bites to be exact, along with the Big Mac. Last I recall without any promo, they were $3-and change a piece. Always felt like they were a tad overpriced compared to their various other menu items.
 
If it's round it's a burger, if it's square it's fish.

Depending on your age, they may taste different. McD's in the early 2000's experimented with other fish than the usual pollack.
 
I saw a documentary on the making of fish squares. It is all done on the fish factory ship from catching to cleaning to mushing to squirting into squares and freezing then packing in boxes and stored in the freezer. Disgusting.
FTFY
 
Yea, I don’t McDonald’s. I don’t think Israel Kamakawiwoʻole did either.
 
True fish come in squares and are called Mrs. Pauls.....
I have not fished extensively the world over. I have seen fish in many oceans. I have never seen a square fish.
 
Thanks for the reminder that Lent is right around the corner. As some cruel joke, Ash Wednesday is also Valentine's Day this year.

Anyway, the Filet-o-Fish with extra cheese and extra tarter becomes a Friday lunch item for the season.
 
Thanks for the reminder that Lent is right around the corner. As some cruel joke, Ash Wednesday is also Valentine's Day this year.

Anyway, the Filet-o-Fish with extra cheese and extra tarter becomes a Friday lunch item for the season.

Jack in the Box also has fish sandwiches but only for a couple weeks before/after Lent. It's much larger than the McDonald's version.
 
stop, stop, STOP, STOP! fish do not grow in squares! fish are not sandwich material. fish can be fast food but only with chips. Just say no!
 
If it's round it's a burger, if it's square it's fish.

Depending on your age, they may taste different. McD's in the early 2000's experimented with other fish than the usual pollack.
Yeah, I believe they used to use Cod years ago until the sourcing just got too expensive. That’s when they were much larger too.
 
Jack in the Box also has fish sandwiches but only for a couple weeks before/after Lent. It's much larger than the McDonald's version.

BK also has the Big Fish. And you know how much Ravioli's like "BIG."

I think McD's works for me since part of the concept is to sacrifice.
 
Except at Wendy's where burgers are square. Don't know what shape the fish are there.
Wendy's claims burgers and chicken parts. Fish are not claimed and rightfully so.
 
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