Non-aviation, nostalgic hilarity!

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HarvardTiger

Filing Flight Plan
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Jim
Strap in, shut up and hold on. We're going back.

Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. After a bunch of hours spent in The Hottest Attic In The Universe, he had a ceiling fan that ducted to the side of his house.

While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:



A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:



Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom, because obviously nothing absorbs errant pee like a nice, thick shag:



There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:



Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long, for god's sake. And way to pull your pants up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:



This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:



This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden forced you to at gunpoint.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:



I'll bet these guys do ok with the ladies. If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his color-coordinated coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:



He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:



If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit; which, frankly, is a step up.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day



Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.



As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words.



Oh wait, it turns out there are words after all, and those words are What. The. F*ck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. I think the little tie must be the pull tab. If you look really closely, it says, "In case of chest hair emergency, pull tab quickly and back away."

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, in 1977 it was apparently considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?





I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."



And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and an appreciative blonde with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."



Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:



I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:



Man, that's sexy.
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One of the funniest pieces I've ever read on the 'net. And to give full credit where credit is due: http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com

Remember, many of the planes we enjoy flying were built during the 70's by people dressing like this--perhaps in a yellow JC Penny's jumpsuit...

Anyone have any period photographs they'd like to share?
 
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We had the barrel table and chairs, and I was watching an old Miami Vice last night and saw Don Johnson wearing a lot of those suits.:rofl:
 
at my great grandmothers funeral, my uncle came out of the hotel dressed in the polyester suit that he wore to his high school graduation in 1978. Needless to say my Aunt promptly sent him back to his room to change. Was pretty cool to see that big collar and bell bottoms though.
 
Lord, I'm in tears.....:rofl:

Can't forget three of the 70's greatest inventions, sin bin vans, leisure suits, and the screaming chicken on the hood Trans Am.
 

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We never wore that stuff. You can't prove anything. :no:









I think part of the idea for the his n' hers matching outfit was to show they have it for both sexes, but I do remember once seeing Muffy and Brad browsing magazines at the Dominick's, both wearing the full Don Johnson white pants and pastel pink tops. Which reminds me of what my suit guy called "The full Cleveland" - white belt and white shoes with your polyester leisure suit.


Steve Martin: "Do you know how many Polyesters DIED to make that suit?"
 
Oh....my life just flashed before my eyes.


I had one of those Glen Campbell shirts with the snaps.......they were hip.
 
If there was ever a reason to not build a time machine, this thread is definitely it. :vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit::vomit:
 
And to think of the money I spent removing those colors from our house when we bought it in 1996. Built in 1972 and it was CLASSIC 70s. I lived through that once. Not again. PLEASE!!! :eek:
 
Ghery said:
And to think of the money I spent removing those colors from our house when we bought it in 1996. Built in 1972 and it was CLASSIC 70s. I lived through that once. Not again. PLEASE!!! :eek:
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Oh my, my, my ... It took us close to a dozen years to exorcise the last of the sea-foam-green shag carpet and other "souvenirs" of the '70s from this house!

Our general aviation airplanes cause something of a time warp for us, though. A Cardinal from 1978, the last year it was built, seems a relatively "new" airplane. But check out the attached page from its brochure! :hairraise:

Speaking of JC Penney -- when our boys were growing up, they would always strike what they called a "JC Penney pose" whenever a camera was pointed at them. They're old enough to know better now (ages 28 and 33), but they still do it (photo below, at Matt's wedding).
 

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KennyFlys said:
I dream of Quarters...
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Funny, if you read the Wikpedia entry on Jan Smithers, In sep 07, she was driving NAKED when her car quit. As she was in the road, she got hit by a truck and injured. I spent 1978 praying she'd drive by my house naked.
 
KennyFlys said:
I dream of Quarters...
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You know, I always found her so much more attractive than Jennifer - I'm a sucker for the more "subtle" beauty as opposed to the "I'm hot and I'm shoving it in your face" beauty.
 
I graduated middle school in 1970. We had a graduation dance. I wore a hip hugger powder blue velvet pants, 3 inch heel black and white shoes, a coral velour vest and some shirt with frills on it. Frills! My date wore a chiffon thingy that was dark blue, and we looked fab - I say, F.A.B, fab. I even have a photo taken with an instamatic by my mom, jeez what a tool. Well, got some anyway.

It's kind of amazing that decade, from 64 to around 74 when Nixon resigned. The country sure was going in many different directions. Oh, and Bailey was a sweety, but Jennifer - OHMYGOD! (Big guy - 'say, do I hear dogs'? Fever, 'I don't know Arthur - I do'. Pink Floyd in the background)
 
Oh, that ain't nothin'. Just wait 30 years and see what folks have to say about the 2000's.

partypromoters.jpg
 
Ohhhhhhhhh......I think I'm gonna.........
 

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docmirror said:
(Big guy - 'say, do I hear dogs'? Fever, 'I don't know Arthur - I do'. Pink Floyd in the background)
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Even better line, one that I think is one of the funniest lines ever in sitcome history:

"As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"
 
Wow, man...the 70s... yes, I survived the 70s.

Come to think of it, I survived puberty in the 70s...

To those who laugh at the men's fashions depicted there: all I can say is that if Lee Majors wore stuff like that, it was cool; 'nuff said. :rolleyes:

As for myself, at that time I favored gauze cowboy shirts over wife-beater tees with patched-up jeans and really beat-up Chuck Taylors...and of course the "Dogs Playing Poker" print t-shirt as well as myridad black concert t-shirts... although I did own a few photo-print polyester shirts (seems so weird now!), and yes, God help me, I did occasionally wear a "leisure suit" (under duress; usually with a haircut at gunpoint). But the one suit I really liked was made out of denim.

That was one cool thing about the 70s that still rocks: all that denim...:D

Earth shoes, however... meh.

BTW, Jim: one of the funniest- and most disturbingly poignant- posts I've seen here, ever. Let's see more!!
 
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