I love it:

SkyHog

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
18,431
Location
Castle Rock, CO
Display Name

Display name:
Everything Offends Me
The T-Mobile voice system: said:
T-Mobile...
How can I help you today? You can say anything, such as "Tell me how many minutes I have used" or "Tell me what my balance owed is."

[no response given]
Para continua en espanol, diga espanol.

Why do I love it? Because it assumes we speak English!
 
Personally I hate voice options. Every time I've called, I've almost always had the system recognize the ambient noise in the area as a response.

"Did you say 'Hang up?'"
"NO!"
 
Do what I do when you get the voice prompts...just keep mashing "0" until a breathing person answers:D
 
I got some ugly looks as I spoke louder and louder into my cellphone on a packed airliner trying to get their stupid IVR system to recognize the words "agent" and "no".
 
I got some ugly looks as I spoke louder and louder into my cellphone on a packed airliner trying to get their stupid IVR system to recognize the words "agent" and "no".
It was probably too late to request an upgrade, anyway... :D

-Skip
 
I got some ugly looks as I spoke louder and louder into my cellphone on a packed airliner trying to get their stupid IVR system to recognize the words "agent" and "no".

FLUFFY!:D
 
Do what I do when you get the voice prompts...just keep mashing "0" until a breathing person answers:D

I frequently now run into systems which reply to that "I did not understand, goodbye." and hang up on me.
 
I frequently now run into systems which reply to that "I did not understand, goodbye." and hang up on me.

Yeah, that's another one that infuriates me. It's no longer "Let me get someone who can help". Now it's "Oh, you're too stupid to tell me what you want, so I'm going to hang up on you."
 
It was probably too late to request an upgrade, anyway... :D

-Skip

Upgrade?? Heck, I would have just settled for getting home close to on time.

The stupid airline left a dial-out message on my cellphone that said "We have important information regarding the status of one of your flights. Please call us at 800-xxx-xxxx for details". No useful info at all. So I had to call them back to learn that a flight was delayed.
 
Don't EVER call the 800 number for the USPS. Zero doesn't work; AGENT doesn't work. You almost always get "I didn't understand that. " It took me 3 calls and many minutes before I finally got thru to a live person. The first thing I asked was "Is there a direct number I can use to talk to you?"
"55"
I get to try it tomorrow.
 
The stupid airline left a dial-out message on my cellphone that said "We have important information regarding the status of one of your flights. Please call us at 800-xxx-xxxx for details". No useful info at all. So I had to call them back to learn that a flight was delayed.
I had a very satisfactory experience on the way back from OSH. I was driving to ORD, and at about 11am I got a cell call saying my 1:40pm flight had been cancelled. The system re-booked me at 6am the following day. Push 1 to accept, 2 to talk to an agent.

2.

After a few minutes on the phone, I had a confirmed reservation in First Class at 4:50PM. OK, that flight actually left at 6:30 but it went and I was on board eating the hot nuts. As I boarded there were 120 people on the standby list; 2 made it.

Sometimes the system works.

-Skip
 
Don't EVER call the 800 number for the USPS. Zero doesn't work; AGENT doesn't work. You almost always get "I didn't understand that. " It took me 3 calls and many minutes before I finally got thru to a live person. The first thing I asked was "Is there a direct number I can use to talk to you?"
"55"
I get to try it tomorrow.

Just say "I'm a ticked off vet with assualt weapons" and they'll get right with you.
 
FWIW, I (and I'm prepared to be flamed for this) think that y'all need to learn how to use the phone trees. They're not there to confuse you or to shirk off the responsibility of having to deal with you, they are there to help get you to the proper department.

Comcast was one place, at least in ABQ, where I fought to get the IVR to hang up on folks that refused to follow the prompts. We were successful there. After the 3 strike and you're out phone tree was implemented, the number of transfers dropped under 5%. Before, it was around 40-50%. And I guarantee you that about 90% of those that were transferred bitched about being transferred.

If you are a company with more than 1000 customers, you can no longer have a switch operator that handles every call and gets them to the right department. Its not cost efficient, and its not what customers want. They want to get to the right department the first time, without being transferred. Studies have been done that show this.

And either a Speech IVR or Classic IVR is the only way to achieve this. Sucks, but its true.
 
FWIW, I (and I'm prepared to be flamed for this) think that y'all need to learn how to use the phone trees. They're not there to confuse you or to shirk off the responsibility of having to deal with you, they are there to help get you to the proper department.

Comcast was one place, at least in ABQ, where I fought to get the IVR to hang up on folks that refused to follow the prompts. We were successful there. After the 3 strike and you're out phone tree was implemented, the number of transfers dropped under 5%. Before, it was around 40-50%. And I guarantee you that about 90% of those that were transferred bitched about being transferred.

If you are a company with more than 1000 customers, you can no longer have a switch operator that handles every call and gets them to the right department. Its not cost efficient, and its not what customers want. They want to get to the right department the first time, without being transferred. Studies have been done that show this.

And either a Speech IVR or Classic IVR is the only way to achieve this. Sucks, but its true.

I don't care about a menu, but I think it needs to be reasonable and realize that not everyone is in a soundproof box. If the system doesn't recognize a voice command two or three times, automatically switch to touchtone. If still no response, forward to an operator.
 
I don't care about a menu, but I think it needs to be reasonable and realize that not everyone is in a soundproof box. If the system doesn't recognize a voice command two or three times, automatically switch to touchtone. If still no response, forward to an operator.
Agreed!
 
FWIW, I (and I'm prepared to be flamed for this) think that y'all need to learn how to use the phone trees. They're not there to confuse you or to shirk off the responsibility of having to deal with you, they are there to help get you to the proper department.

Comcast was one place, at least in ABQ, where I fought to get the IVR to hang up on folks that refused to follow the prompts. We were successful there. After the 3 strike and you're out phone tree was implemented, the number of transfers dropped under 5%. Before, it was around 40-50%. And I guarantee you that about 90% of those that were transferred bitched about being transferred.

If you are a company with more than 1000 customers, you can no longer have a switch operator that handles every call and gets them to the right department. Its not cost efficient, and its not what customers want. They want to get to the right department the first time, without being transferred. Studies have been done that show this.

And either a Speech IVR or Classic IVR is the only way to achieve this. Sucks, but its true.
That is true for some things, such as billing departments. But for most business calls:

"Thank you for calli..."

"0"

"one moment, please."

Call me a luddite, but to hell with them. Most places have put about two seconds of thought into their voicemail systems, and I don't have time to deal with the BS.
 
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I don't care about a menu, but I think it needs to be reasonable and realize that not everyone is in a soundproof box. If the system doesn't recognize a voice command two or three times, automatically switch to touchtone. If still no response, forward to an operator.

And particularly for companies in the travel industry, the IVR must take into account that there will be high levels of noise and even PA announcements in the background.

I much prefer a phone tree that lets me use tones as opposed to voice.
 
At least give the option of getting a human. Sprint was down right frustrating until I learned the phrase "Cancel my account." That gets me a human every time.
 
At least give the option of getting a human. Sprint was down right frustrating until I learned the phrase "Cancel my account." That gets me a human every time.

I've heard several systems which don't state a "To speak with an operator", but yet if you hit 0, you get to the ringing.

What REALLY sucks is when they have a 24 hour automated system without 24 hour human support.
 
I've heard several systems which don't state a "To speak with an operator", but yet if you hit 0, you get to the ringing.

What REALLY sucks is when they have a 24 hour automated system without 24 hour human support.
Well, I've dealt with SEVERAL that when I hit zero, I hear "invalid command". Invalid? I like the "cancel my account" thought from Anymouse above. I'll try that with Sprint ("representative" works about half the time there......).
 
Don't EVER call the 800 number for the USPS. Zero doesn't work; AGENT doesn't work. You almost always get "I didn't understand that. " It took me 3 calls and many minutes before I finally got thru to a live person. The first thing I asked was "Is there a direct number I can use to talk to you?"
"55"
I get to try it tomorrow.

Well, I've dealt with SEVERAL that when I hit zero, I hear "invalid command". Invalid? I like the "cancel my account" thought from Anymouse above. I'll try that with Sprint ("representative" works about half the time there......).

At least give the option of getting a human. Sprint was down right frustrating until I learned the phrase "Cancel my account." That gets me a human every time.

Just say "I'm a ticked off vet with assault weapons" and they'll get right with you.


That worked with DirecTV. After I didn't want "Billing" or recorded tech support, I screamed "I WANT TO CANCEL MY @#$%^&*|!!! ACCOUNT!!!!" and ring, ring, I got customer retention. I dunno if it was "cancel" or the swears that worked.

As much as I hate them, I have to say that UPS's system where you SAY the tracking number works amazingly well.

Maybe those of you that have trouble just talk funny. :D
 
They want to get to the right department the first time, without being transferred. Studies have been done that show this.
Am I the only guy in America for whom there is not an appropriate menu pick? Sucks to go through the entire phone tree which is a complete waste of my time, when there is no pick that will get me to the right area/person.

-Skip
 
My favorite is when you call Comcast for broadband internet support and after it routes you to internet technical support the recording says to go to the web site. Duh! If I could go to the friggin website I wouldn't NEED to go to the friggin web site.
 
A big part of my gripe with IVR (aside from hating to speak with the computer) is that it takes about 5 times as long to get where you actually want to go. It's a lot faster to push "1" than it is to listen to the stupid voice prompt, answer, and then wait for the computer to ask if it heard you right.

3 minutes to get to the "talk to a real human" at Verizon, 5 minutes and counting to actually speak with someone.
 
That's fine guys, find workarounds for the IVR, but then stop complaining when you get transferred 3 or 4 times per call because you were too "important" to use the IVR correctly.

I know, I know, it won't happen. As the customer, you get to have it both ways: Human Answer and the correct department automatically. We need thoughs analyzers instead of IVRs.

^^^^ yeah, I am not a big fan of Speech IVRs either, but most companies are going that way, unfortunately. Bank Of America at least has *55 which changes back to the standard IVR.
 

Comcast F 800‑266‑2278 Press * at each prompt, ignoring messages.

False. Does not work, and may vary depending on the city you are calling from.

I'm telling y'all, if you learn to cheat the system, you're just going to be that jerk that complains because he gets transferred. Don't say I didn't warn you. If you follow the IVR, you MIGHT get a good Customer Service Experience. If you avoid it, you are going to cause yourself to become angry, and ruin the experience for both you and the employee.
 
Comcast F 800‑266‑2278 Press * at each prompt, ignoring messages.

False. Does not work, and may vary depending on the city you are calling from.

I'm telling y'all, if you learn to cheat the system, you're just going to be that jerk that complains because he gets transferred. Don't say I didn't warn you. If you follow the IVR, you MIGHT get a good Customer Service Experience. If you avoid it, you are going to cause yourself to become angry, and ruin the experience for both you and the employee.

Two points.

1) I agree with Skip that sometimes the menu option I need just doesn't exist. I need to talk with a human that has at least a basic understanding of the companies organization to make a stab at what might be the appropriate place to start. I acknowledge that I may need to be transferred. (I just don't want to have to wait 5 to 10 minutes each time I am!) I'm not trying to "game" the system, but I know, by having listened through all the prompts, that what I'm calling about isn't listed in the menu tree.

2) There needs to be a way to use numbers in addition to voice response. The FSS system DOES have this capability, though it's not well publicized. Also, think of those with speech impediments for whom IVR just is not an option.

The other problem with these hierarchal systems, be they touchpad or voice driven, is that they frequently require you to think like the company and understand their internal structure, rather than having the system be designed to meet the needs of the customer. That is not a problem that is unique to telephone response systems, either. We deal with it all the time in web sites.
 
At least give the option of getting a human. Sprint was down right frustrating until I learned the phrase "Cancel my account." That gets me a human every time.

That's what I use if I can't get to the department I need within three prompts. "Cancel my account" hasn't failed me yet.
 
In fact...

If you do that with Verizon DSL, you'll get a prompt asking if the reason you want to cancel your account is due to frustration with their customer service / support departments. If you say, "Yes," you'll actually get a rep in the USA who speaks English!
 
I don't mind call trees except I don't want to spend 20 minutes getting to a live person. All I have is a cellphone. Time is money. They want ME to waste my time instead of providing me with a live person. Screw'em. If I can shortcut the BS, I'm all for it.
Even better! When I dial the number the website gives me to talk to a live person, give me a live person.
Check out the "contact us" on the USPS site. Follow the "Live person" and you tell me.
 
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