Opinions are like...

[Zeldman]

To clarify, while some of my coworkers are definitely making stupid comments, many are very supportive. When they knew I was likely going to do my solo one day, they tried listening to Live ATC to hear me too It made me feel awesome knowing that they were doing that back at the bunker (my office is about 50 feet underground). Sadly it turned out that our firewall blocked them from being able to listen in, but thinking that they were listening helped me to feel less alone in the cockpit that day.

So there are lots of good folks there. Just a few nay-sayers who like to rain on parades.

Focus on the good. Keep up the good spirits.

 

[nddons]

To be fair, I work in emergency management, so the crew here are all "plan for the worst, hope for the best" kind of people. Pessimism is pretty much a job requirement! But the comments about me doing this while having kids really ticks me off. It implies that I value flying over my children, or that I'm being selfish and irresponsible. Unlike them, I've done my research on flying and safety. I know the risks and the realities of them.

As for the spouse... I've tried everything. I've approached as rationally and respectfully as I can, I've listened and addressed all of his concerns, but he doesn't budge. Not a bit. It's my earned money funding it (and most of our bills), so thankfully he can't pull the money card to get me to stop or I bet he would.

Wow. First of all, congratulations on your pending solo. You are about to join a very small minority of humans who are capable slipping the surely bonds of earth as pilot in command of an aircraft. Good luck. We're all counting on you.

As for hubby, tell him you can be safe sitting on the couch eating cookies and watching soap operas - at least for a while, until your brain atrophies and your health deteriorates from a sedentary life.

Edit: I'm sorry I misread the timing of your solo. Congratulations!

And damnit, Billy beat me by 13 minutes for my quote from Airplane.

 

[rtk11]

Cajun Flyer - if I may, let me provide you a quote:

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
-Theodore Roosevelt

You've stretched the limits and found glory in your aviation dreams and reached out beyond the "gray twilight" that most people live in. You're joining a significant minority of the US population called "aviators." Congratulations on your solo, Pilot! It's a big step and I'm sure a date that you'll remember forever.

It doesn't matter what your work colleagues say. Statistically, driving a car is more dangerous, and riding a motorcycle is more dangerous than driving in a cage. Wish them all well with their lives and their commutes. As a pilot, you are now trained to focus on the important factors. The co-worker negativity is not a factor.

Your spouse... not sure what to say here. This will affect you as it impacts your mood and your family life. However, part of marriage is to be supportive of each other. You've supported him in the motorcycling activity, he should reciprocate in your aviation goals. It may not be possible for him to express why he is adverse to your flying, but perhaps a third party (counselor) can assist. If aviation is your passion (which it sounds like it is), then your spouse should be able to express his concerns, but still be supportive.

Hang in there, but stay your course.

 

[Tarheelpilot]

To be fair, I work in emergency management, so the crew here are all "plan for the worst, hope for the best" kind of people. Pessimism is pretty much a job requirement! But the comments about me doing this while having kids really ticks me off. It implies that I value flying over my children, or that I'm being selfish and irresponsible. Unlike them, I've done my research on flying and safety. I know the risks and the realities of them.

As for the spouse... I've tried everything. I've approached as rationally and respectfully as I can, I've listened and addressed all of his concerns, but he doesn't budge. Not a bit. It's my earned money funding it (and most of our bills), so thankfully he can't pull the money card to get me to stop or I bet he would.

I had a female student quit because her family was so unsupportive and hostile re her flying. She heard the same crap you are sharing. Unfortunately she quit. Her ******* husband actually told me he couldn't handle the idea of his wife doing something he was afraid of plus the flying cut into the dirt bike racing budget for him and the oldest son. i say to hell with them and keep flying. But it's easy for me to say that from the side lines. Only you can decide if flying is worth the cost. Just remember, being a pilot does not mean...
You are a bad mother
You are selfish
You are a bad wife .......

Good luck

 

[TommyG]

You hit the nail right on the head with that one! I think it's partly people's disappointment in their own decisions, or their giving in to their fears of trying new things or following their dreams. Misery loves company, as they say. If they aren't happy with their choices, how dare you be happy with yours?

Fact is we are all going to die one day! What matters is the ride we have to get there. Would I rather die at 100 have been playing it safe my whole life. Hell no! I can just easily get killed doing something normal everyday people do. So we might as well enjoy the ride and make it worthwhile.

 

[JCranford]

You know, after reading four pages of this thread I had to thank my wife last night for being so supportive of my flying. Not only is she supportive but she loves to fly with me. We plan to have her take a pinch hitter course after the first of the year so she could handle an emergency if need be. Im just afraid she will want her own ticket.

Cajun, I dont say that to rub in my good fortune. I think you have some hard choices to make in the future, but dont let giving up aviation be one of them. You will regret that. I flew when I was 16 for about 42 hours. I imagine my life would be very different now had I not chose to give it up back then. But I'm back in the air now and do not intent to be ground-bound for a loooong time.

Good luck to you and tell us all your flying stories. We will gladly listen!

 

[FastEddieB]

I'm a lucky guy!

Kool Karen will follow me anywhere!

Talk about blind faith!

But seriously, I think our adventurous spirits helped match us up on eHarmony almost a decade ago.

 

[rk911]

...well, you know the rest.

The following comments have trickled in over the last week or so on the heels of one of my coworkers (an ex-ATCer) proudly announcing at our agency's Christmas party that I was about to do my first solo...

"But you're a mom of two kids!"

"Be careful... I mean, you have two kids to think of."

"I guess I'll be the first responder when you do your first solo."
(a comment made by a public safety official when I told him I would be doing it in his town)

"Ugh, you make me nervous. I could never do that. Please don't die."

"I better not see you on the evening news!"

"Where are you learning out of?" >tells him< "Oh, I've got buddies at the fire station there. Guess I'll know from them when you solo! haha!"

"You flew... by yourself?! Oh my. Don't you have kids? What does your husband think?"


As for what my husband thinks about all of this, well... he is the LEAST supportive person I have on it. Sucks, right? When I told him I finally reached my solo milestone, he didn't speak to me for a day and then blew up on me the next day. Sent me a dozen or so sensationalist news articles about plane crashes. He's known I've been taking lessons for months now, but we just don't talk about it due to his disapproval. I never should have made the mistake of wanting to share my good news about the solo with him.

So, I guess I'm just wondering... am I getting these kind of comments for the simple fact that I have the audacity to also be a woman and, GASP... a mother? Or do men get these kind of responses as well? It's both men and women saying these things to me. The women are the ones making all the comments about my kids, while the men are mostly making comments about me dying.

I'm at the point where I just don't want to talk about it with anyone anymore. The most dangerous thing for me in the sky right now are all of their voices telling me I can't do it, or that I'm going to die, or that I'm going to leave my kids motherless. Their voices are the only real hazard to me.

Or maybe they are right. Is it terribly selfish of me to learn how to fly while I have children? Lay it on me, if so. I've dreamt about this for 20+ years and don't want to wait another 20 to follow my passion, but maybe that's just what I have to do.

But this is about how I feel right now -

nope, not selfish at all. do these same people express shock every time you climb into your automobile to drive somewhere? do they KNOW just how risky it is to drive a car???? we all risk death upon waking up each morning as we never know when it will overtake us. btw, care to guess the safest mode of public transportation??

I first took lessons when I was 32 back in 1982 but never completed them for reasons best left to another thread. I resumed and earned my Sport Pilot certificate in 2013 at the age of 63. my wife was extremely supportive of me and while I'm sure she worries (better than not caring, huh?) she wishes me blue skies whenever I head out to the airport. my close friends were also supportive and while I took, and expected, some good natured ribbing it was just that...good natured. apparently my accomplishment has motivated two of them to want to start their own training and one of them earned his PP a few weeks ago.

unless it persists I would shrug off the comments from friends and co-workers as good natured and maybe concealing a bit of envy. that's normal. but your husband's reaction is different. he is supposed to be your biggest fan and cheerleader. It might be one thing if you had suddenly decided out of the blue to head off to the Sumatran jungle to hunt tigers with a defective blow dart gun but otherwise he should be proud of his wife for her accomplishment. I know I am and I suspect everyone else on this forum is as well.

blue skies to you. your first solo will be something you will never forget...or regret.

 

[PPC1052]

Oh, I got past the "mind reading" expectation with men a long time ago. You don't get much more straight up than me, I'm afraid. Life too short to not be clear on your needs.

So, the other night - after his big "explosion" on the solo flight thing, I really just went full on heart-to-heart. I sat down, looked at him square on and told him not to speak until I was done. That I needed to say what I was about to say. I spoke calmly, rationally and straight from my soul... and I said exactly what I said in that post above, and then some. When I was done, he just sat there. No response, no acknowledgement, no offer to work out a compromise. I just shook my head and walked away.

About 15 minutes later was when all of the emails from him came flooding in regarding plane crashes. The next morning, I found his wedding ring in a drawer.

Do not let this man pressure you into quitting. Please. For your sake.

 

[exncsurfer]

Oh, I got past the "mind reading" expectation with men a long time ago. You don't get much more straight up than me, I'm afraid. Life too short to not be clear on your needs.

So, the other night - after his big "explosion" on the solo flight thing, I really just went full on heart-to-heart. I sat down, looked at him square on and told him not to speak until I was done. That I needed to say what I was about to say. I spoke calmly, rationally and straight from my soul... and I said exactly what I said in that post above, and then some. When I was done, he just sat there. No response, no acknowledgement, no offer to work out a compromise. I just shook my head and walked away.

About 15 minutes later was when all of the emails from him came flooding in regarding plane crashes. The next morning, I found his wedding ring in a drawer.

Yea, seems like your marital issues may not be so much related to flying. Seems like more of a control issue to me. You haven't given us his side of why he is so against this. Maybe he hasn't given you any reasoning? You might get the same response from say, wanting to learn to ski(or do any other thing he isn't into, on your own). Leaving rings in drawers, ???, doesn't sound like a healthy relationship by any means.

Good luck, keep flying.

 

[PilotRPI]

Sounds like you are surrounded by a good group of ****oles. Focus more on the positive people. Just remember that most people have nothing special in their lives and spend most of their time watching TV. It may just be jealously, or the inability to understand that someone wants to do something great with their lives.

When I got my private in high school, everyone was nothing but supportive. Again, just focus on those people, they don't even have to be pilots. Awesome job on the solo! My third landing wasn't as smooth as I wanted, but it keeps getting better!

 

[Silvaire]

I hate to say it but this is just a general sign of the times. People these days are freaking scared of everything. Maybe it began around the time they started broadcasting news 24 hours a day, I don't know. News used to be half an hour at 6 and 11.

I started flying in 1969 at the age of 15 and the only person who had any real issue with it was my Mom but she didn't stop me. When I got my license it seemed like everyone wanted to go up for a ride but nowadays practically no one can muster the courage. People are simply obsessed with the prospect of their looming death.

I've lost some important people along the way - my Dad, my Wife. Death isn't going to be easy regardless of how it comes but it will come. My Mom is still around, probably doesn't worry so much about me and flying I guess but now I have to worry about her. Kinda ironic I guess.

Good luck with your marital relationship, that's a tough one. Especially when it comes time to take your kids up

 

[FlySince9]

So, I guess I'm just wondering... am I getting these kind of comments for the simple fact that I have the audacity to also be a woman and, GASP... a mother? Or do men get these kind of responses as well? It's both men and women saying these things to me. The women are the ones making all the comments about my kids, while the men are mostly making comments about me dying.

The comments come from jealous people or those who are phobic and don't understand people without the same fears. Your husband, on the other hand simply feels threatened... Too bad... but it's his problem, not yours...

This is the place to express the excitement at your accomplishments... The folks here, "get it" and will always encourage and help you to move forward...

Congrats on the SOLO...You go, Girl!

 

[steingar]

Oh, I got past the "mind reading" expectation with men a long time ago. You don't get much more straight up than me, I'm afraid. Life too short to not be clear on your needs.

So, the other night - after his big "explosion" on the solo flight thing, I really just went full on heart-to-heart. I sat down, looked at him square on and told him not to speak until I was done. That I needed to say what I was about to say. I spoke calmly, rationally and straight from my soul... and I said exactly what I said in that post above, and then some. When I was done, he just sat there. No response, no acknowledgement, no offer to work out a compromise. I just shook my head and walked away.

About 15 minutes later was when all of the emails from him came flooding in regarding plane crashes. The next morning, I found his wedding ring in a drawer.

I really must comment on this though I know I shouldn't. Mrs. Steingar flies with me, just got her first flight in the new to me airplane last weekend. She doesn't fly to bore holes in the sky, but if its a trip or social occasion she's in. Several POA members have met her on our adventures. Did I mention she gets horribly airsick?

She starting knitting pretty seriously several years ago, my upstairs is full of yarn and knitting machines. I participate in any way I can; this morning we discussed how she was going to complete a blanket she's making for a friend's baby. Obviously I'm not that into this stuff, but if there's a way to creatively involve myself and support her I'm going to do it. That's what a spouse is supposed to do. In a way it is something we share, since we are both of us artisans.

I can't imagine not doing something to support her in something about which she's passionate. She wouldn't do likewise for me. Those are good relationship skills, that we both have them is likely why we've been married for decades.

I'm afraid I must echo other comments about marriage counseling. A professional might be able to tease out what's going on, give you some resolution, at least some breathing space.

I just hope you don' give up something about which you've dreamed and about which you're passionate due to pressure from others. Again, good luck.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

By the way, I did solo and it was AWESOME!

Congratulations on the solo. Hope you continue with your flights.

 

[bnt83]

Brian - you are fantastic!

Thank you.

One of my frequent passengers had a grandfather die in a small airplane plane crash and was terrified of it.

She helped me rewire everything from the engine aft a couple years ago. Wiring has worked flawless since

I guess I've taken a lot of the mystery out of airplanes as she has witnessed a quasi restoration of this thing. She and her friends never hesitates to go flying.
That was a couple years ago. We flew it Florida in May without a hiccup.

Since about June I've been polishing some interior and now working on a radio revision.



Airplanes are just a little different. Some don't like to learn anything new or change.

I got lucky that my parents weren't overbearing PITAs because my whole childhood I fought a bleeding disorder. They didn't want me riding motorcycles and being stupid but they didn't try to stop me when they could have. I enjoyed motorcycles all through high school and into my mid 20s till I ended up an amputee due to a severe unrelated illness. Now I'm just an amputee airplane geek.

 

[SkyDog58]

...

Good luck with your marital relationship, that's a tough one. Especially when it comes time to take your kids up

Yeah, unfortunately that could get very ugly. I hope it doesn't for the sake of everyone involved but Cajun should be able to take her kids up if they want to go without hubby stopping it. However if he is how she describes him or how I interpreted him to be, I would not be surprised if he does not try to poison their minds against flying before she gets a chance to take them up. That would be very sad.

 

[Cajun_Flyer]

I wish I could respond to each of you, but I really just want to say thank you all so much. You've said, not just what I wanted to hear, but what I've desperately needed to hear. When I went up for my second solo the other day, I just heard all of their voices of negativity in my head and it really messed with me. I was doing the run-up and gave serious consideration to cancelling my flight because I found myself actually shaking. They had gotten in my head. The only reason I decided to continue on was because I was so afraid that if I gave in to the fears they were trying to instill in me, I would never fly again. They would have won.

But the second ATC gave me takeoff clearance and I pulled out onto that runway, every one of their voices melted away. Within seconds, I was airborne and their negativity was on the ground.

I am not going to quit. I think what bothers my husband most is that he has tried everything at this point to keep me from flying and I will NOT budge. I've conceded on a lot of things during the course of our marriage... made more sacrifices than I can count. This is one I finally put my foot down on. I really think he believed he could bully me out of following my passion.

That's the other thing, he doesn't believe it's my passion. Says I'm making that up because I just want to "be cool." Even when I spoke from the heart and had tears in my eyes describing how flying makes me feel, he still didn't believe me.

It is what it is. But, don't worry... I am not quitting.

From now on, if I allow any voices to get into my head before a flight, it will be all of yours.

Thanks again!

 

[Cajun_Flyer]

Yeah, unfortunately that could get very ugly. I hope it doesn't for the sake of everyone involved but Cajun should be able to take her kids up if they want to go without hubby stopping it. However if he is how she describes him or how I interpreted him to be, I would not be surprised if he does not try to poison their minds against flying before she gets a chance to take them up. That would be very sad.

My daughter is barely two and she already has "the bug." She can hear and spot airplanes miles off... long before I can. She then jumps up and down screaming, "airplane! airplane!" Warms my heart

Honestly, I would never take the kids up without my husband's OK. Even if we do end up divorced. I'm pretty big on both parents needing to agree about important matters with kids. Now once they turn 18... that's a different matter.

 

[MAKG1]

Please be careful.

IMSAFE sounds like it may be becoming an issue. The S can really mess with you when you need it most.

If your mind wanders while the prop is spinning, it's time to park. Most accidents and incidents happen on the ground, and taxiing is not a trivial part.

 

[denverpilot]

You know, after reading four pages of this thread I had to thank my wife last night for being so supportive of my flying.

Yeah. I need to do that again too. Mine conspired with others to convince me to buy into my co-ownership. She also loves flying but has no interest in doing it herself.

Sounds like you are surrounded by a good group of ****oles.

Best movie scene ever...

http://youtu.be/PNcDI_uBGUo

But the second ground control gave me takeoff clearance and I pulled out onto that runway, every one of their voices melted away. Within seconds, I was airborne and their negativity was on the ground.

That doesn't ever go away, and it's the best part of flying for me. Busy being PIC and taking care of business and whatever is going on back on the ground is irrelevant until the flight comes to a successful conclusion.

Whatever problems are down there will be there when you get back. Meanwhile, got enough to do making sure this flight right here and now, goes well.

 

[Cajun_Flyer]

This is the face of happiness...



First cockpit selfie (...and probably only the 2nd or 3rd selfie I've ever taken ever!) following my 2nd solo flight

And, yeah, I'm totally rockin' some aviator glasses! haha

 

[Zeldman]

You go girl..!!!! Keep up the smile..!!! You are not a quitter, keep up the good work and keep flying..!!!!

And keep us up to date on your flying.

 

[coma24]

This has been a great thread, and like many others, I now feel the need to go and thank my dear wife for the years of support she has given me. Buying a 2-seater experimental and later starting an aviation related technology business is not on the Top 10 List of Things To Do When Your Wife is Pregnant by any means.

I'll just call a spade a spade here. You've bared your soul to your partner and the response was silence followed by a removed wedding ring. Not to be dramatic, but that's not a marriage, that's just cohabitation.

I realize this is a very personal issue, but I would insist on counseling from a specialist, pronto, or call it. There is no "good" time for a separation when is child is involved, but my guess is that in years from now, it will be easier if her memory didn't include the transition from being together to being separate (ie, if you wait several more years).

Now, if only the glasses could be a little bigger! What an awesome photo...that's the flying smile right there.

Btw, my kids both love airplanes and both can recognize a Piaggio P-180 by the engine note alone

 

[OkieAviator]

Congrats on your solo and good luck on your divorce!

 

[Twin_Flyer]

First, let me say Cograts on your Solo... Great job!!!

Second, people can be cruel... For that reason I rarely tell anyone that I'm a pilot... Not because I'm not proud of it but mostly because I don't want to hear all the crap. It still seems to come up a lot from others that know about it. You are living your life and so enjoy it while you can.

On the topic of your spouse....well your gut will tell you what you need to do... Just remember that life is to short to be be unhappy.... and as someone already said Live, Love and Laugh!!!

Fly Safe and keep us posted!!!

 

[nddons]

I wish I could respond to each of you, but I really just want to say thank you all so much. You've said, not just what I wanted to hear, but what I've desperately needed to hear. When I went up for my second solo the other day, I just heard all of their voices of negativity in my head and it really messed with me. I was doing the run-up and gave serious consideration to cancelling my flight because I found myself actually shaking. They had gotten in my head. The only reason I decided to continue on was because I was so afraid that if I gave in to the fears they were trying to instill in me, I would never fly again. They would have won.



But the second ground control gave me takeoff clearance and I pulled out onto that runway, every one of their voices melted away. Within seconds, I was airborne and their negativity was on the ground.



I am not going to quit. I think what bothers my husband most is that he has tried everything at this point to keep me from flying and I will NOT budge. I've conceded on a lot of things during the course of our marriage... made more sacrifices than I can count. This is one I finally put my foot down on. I really think he believed he could bully me out of following my passion.



That's the other thing, he doesn't believe it's my passion. Says I'm making that up because I just want to "be cool." Even when I spoke from the heart and had tears in my eyes describing how flying makes me feel, he still didn't believe me.



It is what it is. But, don't worry... I am not quitting.



From now on, if I allow any voices to get into my head before a flight, it will be all of yours.



Thanks again!

Thanks for the update, and best wishes to you.

 

[kiddbats]

I am not a counselor nor do I play one on TV but is your husband maybe deathly afraid of just being alone and having to raise 2 kids alone? Some people just cant be alone and the thought just kills them. I am NOT saying not to chase your dreams. Being a pilot is a relatively safe hobby and its great that you are going ahead with it. Just thinking out loud what may really be bothering your husband so much not that its any of my business. Good luck and I cant wait to follow your lead this spring when I start my lessons!

 

[onezuludelta]

Wow. This has been an incredibly heartbreaking and uplifting read. So sorry to hear about the treatment you're receiving from friends and family. But once you've got that burn inside, it won't go away right? I thought I was obsessed with aviation before, but now that I'm on this PPL journey it has turned from a fun diversion to a BURNING NEED. Glad to see it got you also and won't let go!

Good luck from a fellow Louisianian (and fellow emergency mgmt. person!)

 

[N3368K]

My mom learned to fly while pregnant with me, the fourth child. Dad taught her. She went on to become a CFI. She also had and flew her own Pitts S-1C with 180hp. Dad had a matching one and built both in addition to an earlier one he sold to Bob Herendeen in the early 60s.


Jim R
Collierville, TN

N7155H--1946 Piper J-3 Cub
N3368K--1946 Globe GC-1B Swift
N4WJ--1994 Van's RV-4

 

[SkyDog58]

My daughter is barely two and she already has "the bug." She can hear and spot airplanes miles off... long before I can. She then jumps up and down screaming, "airplane! airplane!" Warms my heart

Honestly, I would never take the kids up without my husband's OK. Even if we do end up divorced. I'm pretty big on both parents needing to agree about important matters with kids. Now once they turn 18... that's a different matter.

I understand but I don't necessarily agree.

I have several friends who are avid shooters & hunters. A couple of them have wives who were/are dead set against them teaching the kids to hunt or even shoot guns. My friends did so anyway and I think it was within their right to do so. They have a legitimate and legal activity they love and wanted to share with their kids. They should not be deprived from doing so. I would feel the same about you taking your kids flying even if their dad said no. However, it is your decision and I respect that you have your own philosophy on how to handle such situations. From what I have observed, many parents don't.

 

[Bluecanary]

I think your husband should be in the dog house for a while for not offering his support and make sure you charge him double when he starts begging you to take hime flying

 

[Caramon13]

I've also learned that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for flying, unfortunately.

When I first got started everyone was happy for me. I decided to purchase my own plane for training and family events and when I suggested a 2 seater for that my wife flipped out and required I get a 4-seater in case she wanted to go up which I was excited about. A two seater wouldn't work since we would also have to take my son who is too young to stay at home.

Fast forward to now, got my PPL and instrument rating.

Wife hates flying, any minor sort of bump makes her super uneasy. We've gone up early morning and nights and she doesn't mind that but she definitely doesn't want to go on day trips with me anywhere.

I've offered to take a few co-workers up, but no one's taken me up on it. Most of my friends have moved out of state so it's basically just me (sometimes my mom/dad and my son) in the 4 seater plane going up on day trips or lunch by myself.

While I sympathize with the OP about not getting support from people around you, I do also congratulate her on doing something that makes her happy regardless of how other people feel.

I love flying and I will never willingly give it up no matter how the people around me vent about planes falling out the air or whatever..life is a risk and there's nothing more fun then breaking through a layer and watching a sunrise or seeing the moon light up a layer of clouds at night. Or hell, just challenging yourself with short runways or new areas of exploration.

Those tethered to the ground have NO idea what they are missing out on.

 

[comanche pilot]

Super proud of you for pursuing your dreams in the face of all the b.s! Keep at it! Solos are great, as are the cross country trips you'll be doing soon.

I flew with my wife before we had kids. She quietly reduced her flying time with me after we had our girls, and I was ok with that as well. I'm not going to force anyone to do something they don't want to do. However, I made it clear that I will be taking our' girls up when they're ready and can appreciate it. She knows I'm safe and trusts me. It only took a few trips without her, that she realized she would be happier going with us, than being left behind. My family has enjoyed numerous camp-outs, fly-ins, and quick trips across the state to see relatives numerous times over the past ten years! I think it created some of the best memories for our children and made for an unbelievable bonding experience for all of us. Both girls talk about getting their pilot license's now! :0)

As for your husband, I am sorry for the lack of support. Stay positive and seek some professional consul. With his issues it will be quickly apparent if it's worth sticking it out or cut the loss. In the long run, either way, it will not only be better for you, but the kids as well!

If this is what it means to be selfish, then yep, I'm selfish. ;0)

 

[NickC99]

Cajun_Flyer,

I'm glad you came here to vent and hear from the other side. Never give up on your dreams. I can't really comment on your marriage, but I know that a good relationship involves support from each other. If the compromise makes you give up something that really drives you, then you end up empty without it. That will eat you up inside, affect your relationship, and you will only resent it more. I know you won't let that happen.

I got the same responses you got when I bought a motorcycle ("oh, my cousin/uncle/brother/mailman died in a motorcycle accident"). I had an accident on it (totaled the bike) and got several "I hope you've learned your lesson" comments, also. Whatever - I wouldn't trade those riding days for the world. I would've bought a new bike immediately if it weren't for my concern about worrying my grandmother. So, I swapped riding for flying a few years later and got similar comments. My family knew I wasn't going to give up on what I want, and they're supportive even if some of them don't like it. My mom and grandmother love to brag that I'm a pilot even though they'll never fly with me. Somehow they're more supportive of flying than riding. Between us, I'm still going to get another bike one day. My girlfriend at the time even loaned me dollars to keep my flying lessons going and pestered me about finishing after I took a break! She'll fly any time without question and loves the travel aspect but isn't interested in learning.

People don't like what they don't understand. We aviators represent less than 1% of the US population, so it's unsurprising most people won't understand.

Don't argue with those who won't change their minds. It's a waste of energy and time you could otherwise use flying while timid souls remain chained to the earth. Keep going and I wish for you blue skies ahead!

 

[Circuit Flyer]

Wasn't going to chime in, because I am the least of the members of this board, with only about five hour of lessons into my PPL course in about 14 months of working on it. (Time, money, life, etc.). Then two things happened. First, my mom died last night. She would always ask me if I had been flying. She was proud of my infinitesimal progress. Then tonight I was bathing the boys tonight (they just turned 6 and 8). The elder starts chatting up a storm about his play date with his new crush. He says he was bragging about me (!), including that "you fly a plane." He says "You're an adventurer. That's why you like Indiana Jones -- you're just like him." My mom and my son took pride in my meager attempt at breaking the bonds of earth. That's reason enough to continue. My wife's outlook is that if flying makes me happy, that's good enough for her, despite her instinctive trepidation. She's even offered to pay for my lessons. Congratulations on your solo and your quest, and I wish you success in the sky and on the ground.

 

[dell30rb]

In the last 5 years I have

Earned private, instrument, commercial and flown 700 hours
Jumped a motorcycle over 130'
Fished offshore 40-60 miles in the atlantic, in a 24' boat (many times)
sailed offshore, all over the place, in all kinds of weather in boats under 50'
shot thousands of rounds in hanguns, AR's, 'high power' rifles, shotguns
I duck hunt so that means I am out in the elements, in icy water, wading around and boating
I work in a facility that manufactures radioactive stuff
Don't forget spins, rolls, hammerhead stalls and basic aerobatics in a 75 year old plane!

The closest I have come to getting seriously injured/death is in traffic on the way to/from work.

My fiancee supports my activities. I'm sure she would rather me stay at home more and bake cookies or whatever, but she knows I need to get out there and fly/fish/hunt or I would go stir crazy and become a sad, irritable and lame version of myself.

If you like flying, keep it up! Its safe if you approach it the right way.

 

[SCCutler]

Cajun:

First and foremost, while exercising sound judgment and learning safe practices, you must be who you are, and if I were speaking to your spouse, I would urge him to not only tolerate your passion, but to celebrate it.

My bride is strong-willed and stubborn- I could not tell her what to do if I tried, and that's the only way I'd have it; how dull she would otherwise be! She recognizes that there are risks in flying (as in all of life), and also, that it is in my soul. On the day I passed my check ride, she asked, "...where are we going?," insisting that she and our son get a plane ride very next day. Then she started planning "only with GA flight" trips.

When I said I wanted a plane, her only comments were (1) I want to see it first to make sure it's not ugly, and (2) just get a Bonanza. I love this woman!

---

Keep us posted on your training- and I look forward to meeting you at one of our fly-ins, one fine day!

Spike

 

[nddons]

Wasn't going to chime in, because I am the least of the members of this board, with only about five hour of lessons into my PPL course in about 14 months of working on it. (Time, money, life, etc.). Then two things happened. First, my mom died last night. She would always ask me if I had been flying. She was proud of my infinitesimal progress. Then tonight I was bathing the boys tonight (they just turned 6 and 8). The elder starts chatting up a storm about his play date with his new crush. He says he was bragging about me (!), including that "you fly a plane." He says "You're an adventurer. That's why you like Indiana Jones -- you're just like him." My mom and my son took pride in my meager attempt at breaking the bonds of earth. That's reason enough to continue. My wife's outlook is that if flying makes me happy, that's good enough for her, despite her instinctive trepidation. She's even offered to pay for my lessons. Congratulations on your solo and your quest, and I wish you success in the sky and on the ground.

Circuit Flyer, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. You have my prayers and sympathy.

 

[Cajun_Flyer]

Thank you all again so much. Your words are my strength. I haven't been flying for over a week, but it isn't because of my husband. I really want to fully shake all the negativity I have gotten from him before I go up again, as I don't want that junk in my head.

As for my marriage, although I'm pretty sure I've already reached my decision, I'm weighing everything very carefully right now. This isn't the first time he's behaved this way or failed to support me on something I really needed his support on. If it had been, then I wouldn't be standing at a crossroads.

But, regardless of that, I have no intentions to give up flying.

Circuit Flyer - I'm very sorry about your mom. It sounds like she was a wonderful, supportive woman!

Kevin - love the picture of your family. I hope to take similar ones some day of mine!!

You guys are fantastic. Thank you again.