Wedding Etiquette - What not to wear

In this part of the world (very rural, very agricultural, very remote), any man wearing a coat and tie at a wedding would be better-dressed than the wedding party or the officiant.

Most weddings here are summer weddings. Spring and fall are devoted to agricultural activities and winter lasts for at least five months. No one wants to schedule their Big Day when it might be disrupted by a blizzard.

Since wedding receptions tend to on involve beer drinking, many guests wear comfortable, beer drinking clothes to the wedding. I usually wear a Hawaiian shirt and khakis.

Weddings in rural communities are big social events. In a small, close-knit community, everyone has known the bride or groom since birth and is good friends with the family. More of an extended family thing than a social obligation. We go to have fun and wish the couple well. No one cares about a dress code.

Mark
 
vkhosid said:
For those that avoid weddings (serious question here), WTF? They're a lot of fun. Granted, i'm only 30, and still on the first round of weddings for all of my friends (so that may change things), but I always have a blast!
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Sau-seege his own. I'm just not big on ceremonies in general, especially long, drawn-out ones. But it's not like a social phobia sort of thing. If I have to go, then I go. If not, then I don't. Life goes on either way.

I'll take weddings to funerals, though. Funerals are even worse than weddings. They're like all the boredom, but stretched out over several days, with the added attraction of their being morbid and depressing. Just for good measure, we also have long funeral processions to the cemetery so we can tie up traffic and thereby make those around us on the roads almost as miserable about our loss as we are. We like to make sure we get the most mileage out of our misery.

Except for the Jews, that is. The Jews have death all figured out. They're very efficient about it. Get the stiff in the ground as quickly and with as little fanfare as possible, and then go home and sit Shivah for a week. It's nice, relaxed, low-stress, and doesn't disrupt friends' normal activities. All they have to do is stop by some time during the week with a fruit and nut basket, and all is well. There's none of this waiting on line to kiss or shake hands with a stiff. (How morbid is that, by the way?)

Baptizing a kid, on the other hand, is fine. That's my kind of ceremony. It's efficient and gets right to the point. You gather around the font; reject Satan, his works, and his empty promises; and sprinkle the water on the kid. Five minutes in and out -- ten at the most -- and the kid gets a nice, new, squeaky-clean soul. It's a good investment of time.

Rich
 
Last wedding I was at was out doors Labor Day weekend in upstate NY. I wore, a Blazer, Blue oxford with a bowtie and bermuda shorts. Most folks told me I didn't have the guts to wear it and my wife would kill me. It was hot , I had no less than 20 people tell me I was a genius. The Groom and Birde loved it too!

Wear shorts!
 
I cannot imagine owning a white tuxedo. That is, um, interesting. There has got to be a story there?
 
Knowing the couple, will they care? If not wear whatever you want, if so do what the wife says.

If you don't know them well enough, then why are you going? :D
 
You live in civilization, that calls for a suit. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you were down here in Nuevo Kalyfornya, you'd do just fine in jeans and checkered shirt. Actually, pink shirt, shorts, flip-flops and a hipster hat would work even better. :D
 
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear a WHITE wedding dress. I mean white....really..... do you think you are fooling anyone..???? :lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
Matthew said:
Some people can pull it off:
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He looks like a Stay-Puft Marshmallow child and the suit doesn't fit.

nauga said:
Then it's definitely a vest and ***less chaps. You'll never have this problem again.

Nauga,
who never goes out of style
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ROFLMAO!

RJM62 said:
Except for the Jews, that is. The Jews have death all figured out. They're very efficient about it.
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Firefighter's funerals and their family also have things done right, but in a very different way.

Every off duty firefighter in town there in dress blues, means something.

Weddings:

- Last wedding I went to was wedding number two for both and they specifically asked folks not to dress up. They had an open bar and dinner and nobody cared what anyone was wearing.

- One before that, the groom was in bear claw slippers in his back yard and he had a pig roasting in the turf about 20 yards away. He was in blue jeans. We were also.

- One before that, we were all in western wear and cowboy hats, as was the groom. He lives in Montana now.

- One before that, was boring. Suit. Second wedding of a good friend who loves formality. He's a first generation American and his folks are German immigrants. Go figure. Haha.

^^ I can only assume from the data above, that y'all go to a lot of boring same-script-as-everybody-else weddings. ^^

Oh... My wedding. 20 years ago. Humongous. Giant church wedding. Her mom invited a bejillion people. She about died when she found out no one had rented a runner for the aisle. Hahahha. We secretly laughed.

I had a hard time even fishing up enough family and friends to not make the place look lopsided.

Boring! Way boring!

We tried to make it non-boring by refusing to do the cake feeding thing at first and instead trying to chase down the best man and bridesmaid with the cake to smash it in heir faces instead.

Only my wife succeeded. My best man was too fast and he started worrying when we started whispering to each other over the cake.

This year was 20. Maybe for 25 we'll throw a party and do it right. Formality blows. And we agree on this.

Our pastor back then did wake everyone up with his sermon though. He likened marriage to the Indianapolis 500. God bless Brian, that man knew how to make life more entertaining than most pastors. Was pretty funny to hear the audience murmuring and wondering what the heck he was talking about when he started with... "The Indianapolis 500! ..." And a big pause.

I heard more than one chuckle and a "Gentlemen, start your engines!" from males who probably got poked in the ribs by their wives and girlfriends. LOL.

Back to Funerals:

- Dad left instructions and a specific bank account that said it was meant to throw a big assed party and not go anywhere near a funeral home. We did it. Open bar, pounds of appetizers, a slideshow of photos of him doing fun stuff on the TV, a table full of photos and knickknacks of things he had done or accomplished, and an open mic for comments. And all his favorite rock music playing all evening while folks socialized and caught up. The bar was decorated with his sign he kept on his bar at home that was a black-double-diamond ski trail warning sign that said, "Experts Only". Hahaha.

We had numerous people come up and tell us they'd changed their funeral plans and they'd never have their friends and family go anywhere near a funeral home or a gravesite ever again, and they also wanted a party thrown.

The best was one of dad's buddies who was also ex-Navy who showed up in his Blues and had taught himself how to blow the pipe... Karen's barbershop quartet sang the Navy fight song and then we blew him over the side. Nicely done, Radioman.

In that pile of knickknacks and photos and awards, I snuck in the nuclear weapons handling certificate in a frame. Wanted to see who was paying attention and who was just pretending to look at the stuff. Got a few comments from a handful of observant people on that one. ("Seriously?!")

I don't think the Navy hands those out much anymore as wallpaper. ;) It was mixed in with all the various sales awards, ham radio plaques, and other "wallpaper" he was proud of.

...

Executive summary: Life's too short for boring weddings and funerals. Have fun with them, or go ALL out on the formality (the aforementioned firefighters), or there really is no point.

Don't wear the white tux. You'll look like a waiter.
 
Jaybird180 said:
What's the protocol here? My wife RSVPd so I am not sure if there was a requested theme. We went onto another discussion before I could get an answer.

POA, what say ye?
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I would ask her if it said something on the invitation. Otherwise I'll agree with the others and say 'suit'.
 
denverpilot said:
Executive summary: Life's too short for boring weddings and funerals. Have fun with them, or go ALL out on the formality (the aforementioned firefighters), or there really is no point.
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I agree. That's why I intend to dropped bodily into the Atlantic from an open cockpit biplane at a decent enough altitude to make a nice splash. My friend who owns the biplane figures that without the seat belt, I should slide out just fine if he inverts.

The only problem is that he'll have to have a preacher or funeral director in another plane alongside to witness the drop. Aviation pilots are not allowed to sign certificates of interment in New York. Funeral directors, preachers, and maritime pilots are.

Rich
 
RJM62 said:
I agree. That's why I intend to dropped bodily into the Atlantic from an open cockpit biplane at a decent enough altitude to make a nice splash. My friend who owns the biplane figures that without the seat belt, I should slide out just fine if he inverts.

The only problem is that he'll have to have a preacher or funeral director in another plane alongside to witness the drop. Aviation pilots are not allowed to sign certificates of interment in New York. Funeral directors, preachers, and maritime pilots are.

Rich
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Sounds like you need a flying funeral director. I wonder where you could find such a thing?
 
Matthew said:
Sounds like you need a flying funeral director. I wonder where you could find such a thing?
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Oh, I'm sure they're around. Finding one with a suitable airplane to make the drop would be a real coup. It doesn't necessarily have to be a biplane. Any open-cockpit airplane would do. A little right aileron and a shove out the door of a Cessna might even work.
 
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I no longer own a suit, but usually show up in a shirt and tie, often a V-necked sweater with a halfway decent pair of pants (usually cords),and of course a suit jacket. I seem to have the academic look down pat.
 
to the wedding I always try to get a general feel for the attire, typically suit, unless its stated otherwise or an outdoor beach wedding...

my best friend got married 2 years ago and to his wedding reharsal dinner which was outside a 5 star restaurant in Orlando, him, myself, and all the groomsmen all wore, camo shorts, came t-shirts, high socks, and combat boots.....it was hilarious....his wife however was not too pleased.
 
steingar said:
I no longer own a suit, but usually show up in a shirt and tie, often a V-necked sweater with a halfway decent pair of pants (usually cords),and of course a suit jacket. I seem to have the academic look down pat.
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Does the jacket have elbow patches?
 
steingar said:
I no longer own a suit, but usually show up in a shirt and tie, often a V-necked sweater with a halfway decent pair of pants (usually cords),and of course a suit jacket. I seem to have the academic look down pat.
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Not quite. You left out the pipe.

Rich
 
Flight suit.

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We need to evolve as a species such that Jeans and t-shirt is acceptable attire in any occasion. Why does wrapping an extra piece of fabric around my neck make me formal? Or wearing a jacket when it is not cold out.

Formal clothing makes no sense.
 
Thanks to those who contributed helpful advice. You know who you are.
Thanks to those who have a sense of humor, you know who you are.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
We need to evolve as a species such that Jeans and t-shirt is acceptable attire in any occasion. Why does wrapping an extra piece of fabric around my neck make me formal? Or wearing a jacket when it is not cold out.

Formal clothing makes no sense.
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Um, dude, sometimes wearing a suit is the price of admission to seeing your beautiful wife in a hot dress and high heels. Cowboy up, man!
 
Ask. Black tie weddings are rare these days, but you don't want to be under dressed if it's formal. If it's not formal then a tux is inappropriate, stick with the suit.

Or just go with whatever your wife says so you can blame it on her.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
We need to evolve as a species such that Jeans and t-shirt is acceptable attire in any occasion. Why does wrapping an extra piece of fabric around my neck make me formal? Or wearing a jacket when it is not cold out.

Formal clothing makes no sense.
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I had a friend years ago who moved from NY to FL. His comment on FL fashion was "If it's good enough for the golf course, it's good enough."

John
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
We need to evolve as a species such that Jeans and t-shirt is acceptable attire in any occasion. Why does wrapping an extra piece of fabric around my neck make me formal? Or wearing a jacket when it is not cold out.

Formal clothing makes no sense.
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Well, few societal norms have a ton of logic in them (why do we shake hands?). In any case, dressing up in formal attire is an easy way to make most females weak in the knees. A piece of fabric around the neck is a small price to pay in order to make them feel special every once in a while.
 
Given a choice, business casual. I would rather not have a necktie which would remind me of my past life as a horse thief. In most circles, a suit would work.
If I'm the groom, I wouldn't want anyone dressed better than me.
 
nddons said:
Um, dude, sometimes wearing a suit is the price of admission to seeing your beautiful wife in a hot dress and high heels. Cowboy up, man!
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If we're cowboy-ing up, the suit better look like this.

2d9459498bbda3e5561ebf81b8169305.jpg
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
We need to evolve as a species such that Jeans and t-shirt is acceptable attire in any occasion. Why does wrapping an extra piece of fabric around my neck make me formal? Or wearing a jacket when it is not cold out.

Formal clothing makes no sense.
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:yes::yes::yes: 6PC for President!

I totally agree. Everyone likes wearing comfortable normal clothing, why must cause I'm seeing the same person at a different event must I dress formal? My standard attire is shorts and a t-shirt, or jeans depending on the weather. I only wear a tie to work and I won't dress up any fancier unless it's for a wedding or the such where I have no choice. Otherwise i don't mind being the odd man out and underdressed, I'm comfortable that's all I care about!

sorry end personal rant, I got carried away :dunno:
 
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