Dumbest thing ever heard out of a pilots mouth

Swampfox201

Swampfox201

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Todd W.
Ok everyone. What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard a pilot say?

In ground school the instructor was talking about emergency landings in a pasture and asked what would you do if the pasture was full of cows. A lady in the front row raised her hand and said "get the stall horn to come on so they run out of the way". :yikes:
 
Swampfox201 said:
Ok everyone. What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard a pilot say?

In ground school the instructor was talking about emergency landings in a pasture and asked what would you do if the pasture was full of cows. A lady in the front row raised her hand and said "get the stall horn to come on so they run out of the way". :yikes:
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Wow that's bad, Me I'd just eat steak for a year:D
 
When landing with a tailwind you'll want to add airspeed.
 
"The engine quit on final but it restarted fine on the runway so we just flew it home"

--(former) flight instructor describing a landing at another airport.
 
"Any traffic in the area please advise..."

Around Western Canada we hear "Any conflicts please advise." The more erudite use bigger words like "conflictions." Can't find that in the dictionary. Must be too new.

Dan
 
CFI shoving throttle in.. "Dammit don't do that you'll get us killed. 65kts is MINIMUM final approach speed (180HP CE172 STOL) and ALWAYS add 2 kts per 1000 feet to your ASI approach speed at high altitude airports."

<--- guilty of a severe anti-authority attitude problem about that once the cfi was out of the plane.


I probably heard something dumber than that before however that one sticks in my mind because of how far the plane floated like a blimp before ever touching the runway.
 
"I like to follow really close behind people in the pattern and not say anything on the radio just because it ****es them off"
 
I can get out of this airplane what I put into it...
 
"It's just a ____ which is broken. That shouldn't:
-cost too much
-take too long"
 
"Why don't you go VFR on top? You can always find a hole in it."
 
"You can't make me puke." Boasted for the 3rd time in one flight by a 4,000 hour pilot about 10 minutes before he filled a gallon sized zip lock bag.
 
One of my customers walked into my hangar at OKH a few years ago, and says, " I flew this up here to get it fixed" my PMI from FSDO was having coffee with me.. and asked what is wrong with your aircraft, my customer says " it back fires and skips on the right mag."

His whole day went down hill from there.
 
Tom-D said:
One of my customers walked into my hangar at OKH a few years ago, and says, " I flew this up here to get it fixed" my PMI from FSDO was having coffee with me.. and asked what is wrong with your aircraft, my customer says " it back fires and skips on the right mag."

His whole day went down hill from there.
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:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
"Is there a discount if I pay the whole thing in advance?"

May not count as the speaker was not yet a pilot.
 
denverpilot said:
"It'll lift anything you can fit in the door."
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My cap says, "If it fits, it flies."

'scuse me? What's wrong with that one? :rolleyes:

"I never worry about running out of fuel or being over gross."









(Note: Not really.)
 
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"I'll only be at the airport for half an hour."
 
I told my Cessna 152 instructor during the debrief of our first flying lesson that my intro flight plane (a Tecnam) had no rudders or trim.

I was soooo dumb. (I just had not used them since it was a "fun" intro flight where I sometimes got to touch the stick and pretend to be a pilot for thirty seconds)
 
Skylane81E said:
"The engine quit on final but it restarted fine on the runway so we just flew it home"

--(former) flight instructor describing a landing at another airport.
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Well, as long as they KNEW it quit because they failed to enrichen the mixture on descent!
 
If you can get the doors closed it will get off the ground...

The tank is already empty?
 
I have two that are a tie for the dumbest.

1. If having to choose between taking off uphill or downhill, one should always takeoff uphill for better performance as the aircraft will be 'launched' into the air. (This guy mangled a C-150 whilst demonstrating this very thing)

2. After being given a tail rotor drive failure (no tail rotor control) in the BH412 sim and autorotating to a helipad to which only the rear half of the skids were touching after landing (front half in the grass - my glide was about 4 feet long) the instructor tells me I should have used the tail rotor pedals to put the aircraft out of trim to shorten my glide or increased my airspeed. (This guy is still a training captain and sim instructor 7 years later)
 
"You can't bank more than 30° in the pattern."
 
roncachamp said:
You mean over the top, VFR-on-top is an IFR operation.
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If he was quoting verbatim, maybe that's exactly what he heard. Which would actually make the quotee (is that a word?) doubly dumb.
 
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