Calling on iron chefs here...

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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Snorting his way across the USA
Scenario:

It is 4:00 pm and you walk in the door to discover crock pot chuck roast and veggies. Life doesn't get much better than that, right?

Except it's cold. The crock pot malfunctioned.

What do you do?

Well I'm not waiting on POA to render action (plus it isn't my call anyway.) What did get done, was it got dumped in to a covered pot and in to the oven at 400 degrees. I mean, that's... where it is going and that is that.

But what would you do? There are options right. The crock pot is not entirely non-functional. The high setting worked. But it won't work for any reasonable dinner hour. Maybe jockeying the switch will make the low setting work. Dunno. The way I see it, is the options are this:

1. The high setting works. Just do it, that is dinner for tomorrow. Go and get a couple burritos for dinner or maybe a pizza or better yet a lettuce wrapped burger for me and whatever else.

2. Try the Instapot. There is a learning curve. I know nothing of it and those in charge of dinner don't either.

3. Put it in a pot and cook the living hell out of it for a couple hours and hope the meat isn't too tough.

4. Drink a lot of vodka and who the f**** cares.

I am leaning towards #4 right now (actually that is in progress.) But currently #3 is in progress concurrently. Again, I'm not in charge. I'm just asking for future reference should the situation occur again.
 
Crock pots are cheap, toss the crock pot. Get a new one or get and instant pot (who cares). So, #1 with a new implement, #4 tonight.
Your welcome.
 
1. The high setting works. Just do it, that is dinner for tomorrow. Go and get a couple burritos for dinner or maybe a pizza or better yet a lettuce wrapped burger for me and whatever else.
That would work, assuming the high setting continues functioning into the future.
2. Try the Instapot. There is a learning curve. I know nothing of it and those in charge of dinner don't either.
Many InstantPots have a slow-cooker mode.
3. Put it in a pot and cook the living hell out of it for a couple hours and hope the meat isn't too tough.
The type of meats you typically toss in the crock pot get more tender as it cooks, not tougher. Just make sure you go low and slow, like turning tough ribs into tender ribs.
 
Build a fire. Put stew in pot. Put on fire. Wait. Profit.
 
Crock pots are cheap. Buy a new crock pot. Or an "instant" pot. Or an indoor rotisserie. Or all of the above.
 
Yeah well, a new crock pot is not happening tonight. It may be happening, but not tonight.
 
blow up that slab of meat just like they blew up that beached whale! and do it while it's in the crockpot! and video it and put it on youtube! all while drinking vodka!
 
blow up that slab of meat just like they blew up that beached whale! and do it while it's in the crockpot! and video it and put it on youtube! all while drinking vodka!

Oh come on man, that is too much like me. People are going to start to suspect...
 
Do you have a pressure cooker? If not, your option is something like tartare or carpaccio. Do you have onions, gherkins and capers?
 
During the great depression? make a fire and cook the roast.
Today? Toss the roast, toss the crock pot, and go get a steak or some bbq.
 
I woulda cut that roast into chunks, pressure cook for 10 minutes, throw veggies in, pressure cook for 5 more, then eat.

I assumed the Instapot was a pressure cooker; Did it come with a POH?

Should we assume you/Eman are ill with food poisoning from the stuff sitting in the crock pot at room temp all day?
 
Should we assume you/Eman are ill with food poisoning from the stuff sitting in the crock pot at room temp all day?

That's my concern. There are a lot of good suggestions in this thread for what to do if the cold meat goes into a crock pot that is quickly determined to be non-functional. If it did sit all day at RT, the right solution would be to throw the whole mess out. Bad things happen when meat is left in the 'danger zone' between 40F and 140F for too long a time.

Of course, what ever was going to happen has happened by now. We'll just have to wait to hear the results.
 
Try the Instapot
Here is the answer. It works just like the crock pot, only faster. That roast and veggies would have been done in 35 minutes. I promise it's not rocket surgery a retiree with No Future Outside can figure it out.
 
4:00 and dinner is at 6:00? Plenty of time to whip up something way more better than pot roast. Don't even need an instapot.
 
I woulda cut that roast into chunks, pressure cook for 10 minutes, throw veggies in, pressure cook for 5 more, then eat.

I assumed the Instapot was a pressure cooker; Did it come with a POH?

Should we assume you/Eman are ill with food poisoning from the stuff sitting in the crock pot at room temp all day?

That's my concern. There are a lot of good suggestions in this thread for what to do if the cold meat goes into a crock pot that is quickly determined to be non-functional. If it did sit all day at RT, the right solution would be to throw the whole mess out. Bad things happen when meat is left in the 'danger zone' between 40F and 140F for too long a time.

Of course, what ever was going to happen has happened by now. We'll just have to wait to hear the results.

Anything cooked at a high enough temperature is going to be rendered safe. The bottom line is it worked out. Not as good as if it had crocked all day (or Insta Potted for half an hour) but Eman is just fine and he didn't have to make any undue trips to the bathroom in the last twelve hours.
 
Anything cooked at a high enough temperature is going to be rendered safe. The bottom line is it worked out. Not as good as if it had crocked all day (or Insta Potted for half an hour) but Eman is just fine and he didn't have to make any undue trips to the bathroom in the last twelve hours.

Sorry, that’s terrible advice and terrible food safety practices.

The FDA recommends tossing it if it was left out for more than 2 hours. They’re probably extra conservative, but I wouldn’t push it much past that.
 
Anything cooked at a high enough temperature is going to be rendered safe. The bottom line is it worked out.

I'm glad it worked out!
But high temp won't necessarily render the meat safe if it has been left out at RT for a long time. Part of the problem is that the nasty pathogenic bacteria secrete protein toxins while they are actively growing. Cooking the meat to a safe temp will kill the bacteria, but that only solves part of the problem. The toxins aren't destroyed by heat, so it's still possible to get a nasty case of food poisoning.
 
I'm glad it worked out!
But high temp won't necessarily render the meat safe if it has been left out at RT for a long time. Part of the problem is that the nasty pathogenic bacteria secrete protein toxins while they are actively growing. Cooking the meat to a safe temp will kill the bacteria, but that only solves part of the problem. The toxins aren't destroyed by heat, so it's still possible to get a nasty case of food poisoning.
That’s the explanation I got from a USDA food safety inspector guy a long time ago.
 
Yeah, they are WAY conservative, but the advice on toxins (not bacteria) is spot-on.
 
Sorry, that’s terrible advice and terrible food safety practices.

The FDA recommends tossing it if it was left out for more than 2 hours. They’re probably extra conservative, but I wouldn’t push it much past that.

That is what the SERE trainers advised. Then again they recommended boiling meat.

EDIT:

For clarity, the SERE trainers maintained that rotten meat could be rendered edible by boiling it in water. It's not something I've ever had the desire to validate. But I don't know, maybe I did.
 
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If you have an insta-pot, use the pressure cook setting and dinner will be ready in 7 minutes.

And step #4, of course.
What he said. Add a few min of air fry or roast after if you want to brown it a bit more. Purly an aesthetic/texture thing more so than "cooking".
 
I'm trying to wrap my head around the math involved in somebody that can afford to fly an aircraft, and is considering using SERE training techniques to salvage an already inexpensive cut of beef that's now a science project. I knew ham radio guys were cheap, but this is haggling with the convenience store guy for a better price on the old hot dogs on the rotator cheap.

Not picking on any person, just the discussion in general. So I guess everybody...
 
I'm trying to wrap my head around the math involved in somebody that can afford to fly an aircraft, and is considering using SERE training techniques to salvage an already inexpensive cut of beef that's now a science project. I knew ham radio guys were cheap, but this is haggling with the convenience store guy for a better price on the old hot dogs on the rotator cheap.

Not picking on any person, just the discussion in general. So I guess everybody...

Do I get a pass if alcohol was involved?
 
:) only if you post a note explaining why a faulty slow cooker is the reason you were cited for cooking under the influence...

For what it's worth, the slow cooker in question was evaluated, and the issue was determined to have been partially operator error. As in, the switch did not engage on the low setting, but it was otherwise functional and some degree of engaging the switch, checking for functionality, and reengaging the switch would have worked.

I mean, you don't hand everything over to the FMS and grab your copy of Golf Digest until you've verified that TIT's are in order and that N1/N2 speeds have been reached, right?
 
For what it's worth, the slow cooker in question was evaluated, and the issue was determined to have been partially operator error. As in, the switch did not engage on the low setting, but it was otherwise functional and some degree of engaging the switch, checking for functionality, and reengaging the switch would have worked.

I mean, you don't hand everything over to the FMS and grab your copy of Golf Digest until you've verified that TIT's are in order and that N1/N2 speeds have been reached, right?
If I ever have you switch tanks, I'm verifying that you aren't halfway in the detent.
 
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