Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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Bill said:
I had Houston beating Illinois to move on to the final four. I was half right!
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Yeah. I had my stuffed cougar mounted over the fireplace pic all ready to go. Oh well, I’m rootin for them now. Don’t want the team that just beat you get beat in their next game.
 
GaryM said:
While not the Suez Canal, it does show the former captain of the Ever Given, on his first day of his new job.
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I wouldn't bet on that. The Ever Given had two pilots from the Suez Canal Authority piloting the ship at the time. They don't just allow any ship captain to pilot those ships through the Canal.
My guess is that Henning was one of the pilots.
 
jsstevens said:
Why'd he need the horse? It's Chuck Norris!
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Chuck seems to be much better than "Superman" ...

Maybe it's just me but I can't trust a guy that bounces bullets off of his chest and then ducks when the pistol is thrown at him! :p
 
At least we know where the stick isn’t
 
Did ya hear the one about the guy driving home from a business trip?

After driving through the night, he finds himself stuck in rush-hour traffic on a slow-moving interstate. Feeling drowsy, he decides that rubbing one out might wake him up a bit. Determining that he won't have much luck while driving, he figures that he can pull off in to the shoulder and do the deed under his pickup.

So he pulls off the highway, slides under the truck, closes his eyes, and tries to get it done as quickly as possible.

This is taking longer than expected, but he has quite the imagination and is getting close when someone says in a deep, gruff voice, "Sir, may I ask what you are doing?"

Realizing this is probably a police officer offering to help, he keeps going while replying "No, it's alright. I think I'm having transmission problems."

The officer responds, "You should probably check the breaks too. Your truck rolled down the embankment about 5 minutes ago."
 
A man runs into a bar.
Panting, he tells the barkeep, “Give me ten shots of your best whiskey—quick!”
So the barkeep sets them up and the man knocks them all back in seconds.
“Why you drinking so fast?” asks the barkeep.
“You’d drink fast too, if you had what I have,” says the man.
“Why, what do you have?” asks the barkeep.
“Only twelve cents.”
 
Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?”

Witness: “All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.”
 
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An Irish artist had built up a good reputation for his oil paintings and portraits.

One day an elegant lady pulled up in her limousine and entered his studio.
She asked him if he would paint her in the nude , and if he did , she would pay him a handsome price.

He thought about it for a moment and said .... OK .... “I’ll paint you in the nude alright, but I have to leave my socks on, so I have a place to wipe my brushes!”

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