A bit of a dilemma

Tom-D

Tom-D

Taxi to Parking
Joined
Feb 23, 2005
Messages
34,740
Display Name
Display name:
Tom-D
Today a neighbors kid died, he was a fifty-ish old known drug misuser, alcoholic, never worked, mooched off his SS dependent mother.
now we must say some thing remorseful to his mom.
Just don't have the words.
 
"I'm sorry for your loss."
 
Be kind and understand this is now not about the son that died now, but the Mother that must be grieving for her loss, be kind to her and say you are sorry for her loss, If I can do anything for you, let me know.
Get a nice condolence card and hand deliver it
Be gracious and kind and you will be better for it.
 
Take a card, some food, and a hug, squeeze of the arm, pat on the back. Say if she needs anything, just let you know.
 
Those of you should know, their fights could be heard all over the neighbor hood, and she shot this guy once, I don't believe there is much remorse
When I see her, I'll let her start the conversation and see where it goes.
 
455 Bravo Uniform said:
Take a card, some food, and a hug, squeeze of the arm, pat on the back. Say if she needs anything, just let you know.
Click to expand...
OH no! with her, that would not be a good thing,,, she is the really needy type.
 
Just give her a big hug, kiss her on the cheek, move on. She will take it the way she wants it.
 
Really, Tom? This is a dilemma for you?

Be respectful, express sympathy and offer a word of encouragement. Do what you feel is appropriate.
 
Tom-D said:
I don't think she feels it is a loss.
Click to expand...
So she would be feeling guilty for thinking that...all the more reason to give her sympathy. Like others said, something short like “sorry for your loss.”
 
If the relationship was as strained as you indicated and the mother is the needy type, she's probably torturing herself about all the ways his behavior was her fault.

Just tell her she's in your prayers right now. Doesn't say anything pro or con about the guy, and is hopefully true.
 
She may be relieved, but as a parent still broken hearted.
Technically you don't have to say anything. You could just give her a big hug. Sometimes those say enough.
 
Just stand next her, u don't have to say a word. Just being there for her conveyes a lot that words might or might express.

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
 
I’ve never heard of a parent that didn’t love their child, and I can’t imagine a greater misfortune than outliving your own children.
Thankfully nostalgia involves the near willful forgetfulness of the negative. Only the cherished memories remain. Moreover, it is in hideously bad taste to speak ill of the dead.
 
Why do you feel the need to say anything?
If you run into her, say something innocuous like "how are you" and play it by ear from there.

Or you could say something like "it's a shame he didn't die when you shot him".

I knew an older German woman who's son sounded like the son you described. When he died she told me "I'm just glad it's over". And she never even shot him.
 
JOhnH said:
Why do you feel the need to say anything?
If you run into her, say something innocuous like "how are you" and play it by ear from there.

Or you could say something like "it's a shame he didn't die when you shot him".

I knew an older German woman who's son sounded like the son you described. When he died she told me "I'm just glad it's over". And she never even shot him.
Click to expand...
I think this is pretty much what I'll do.
I see this morning her place is all shut up, and her car and dogs gone.
 
First post nailed it. She is/was the mother and regardless of the family drama there is a loss whenever a parent looses a child.
 
inspectorpacket said:
First post nailed it. She is/was the mother and regardless of the family drama there is a loss whenever a parent looses a child.
Click to expand...
We learned today she is glad it's over, he was on his way to the crematory before the ink was dry on his death certificate.
I see the good will truck there today.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top